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Big Dick John Brooks

Big Dick John Brooks. I like that name. With the way he is playing, he is figuratively (and maybe IRL in the locker room, I'm not privy to that info though) helicoptering his big dick on his haters. Putting fires out, breaking lines with his passes, he looks like the player we were hyped up about many years ago.


This Wolfsburg team sucks. I think it's their coach, but the players are not playing well. Brooks has been perpetually scapegoated this year for their failures, but it's not all him. They have one of the worst attacks in the Bundesliga and they just sold their top striker. Additionally, his center-back partner in crime, Maxence Lacroix, isn't exactly killing it either (still a top prospect in my honest opinion though).


While he was linked with Premier League clubs many years ago, I think he'd be a good fit for a Premier League team this offseason. He's an experienced European center-back who has been a solid player in the Bundesliga for a while, is definitely technical enough, and certainly has the ideal body for a prem defender (being left footed isn't a bad thing either XD). While some question his attitude (I think his resurgence has put that aside), his transition defense (he is slow-footed), and say he likes to get down (honestly, a lot of people like to get down aka jargon for partying so I don't think that's a minus on his behalf), he's definitely good enough to play for a mid table prem side. The final benefit of a prem side acquiring him, is that he's going to be available on a free.



What does this mean for his USMNT prospects for the rest of this world cup cycle? Sadly, in my honest opinion, nothing. Gregg Berhalter just doesn't seem keen on mending the relationship with his most talented center-back (side note, I don't care if he's 28, I don't think he has hit his ceiling yet). As reported by many USMNT news outlets (I'm not citing them for multiple reasons), Gregg and Brooks had a spat of some sorts during the WCQ games in September 2021. While Gregg has claimed John's exclusion is form, that's a sack of shit and everybody who follows the USMNT knows that. Please Gregg, just prove us all wrong and call Big John Brooks up.


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